A Jack of all Trades, a Queen of none at all

As you’re wiping out these memories of all your failures, you remember one particular bit when you were stock-car racing at a thousand miles per hour, when you realise that all those years ago, you gave up the joy for life.
You sink back into depression, hope for a bit of sympathy, because you are a comedian while at the same time you know no amount of help or warmth will help you crawl out of that abyss.

You pick up a guitar, start jotting down ideas, when you remember performing on stage, but all your visions circle round your insecurities, all you remember is the moments on stage when you were startled, when your deficiencies showed.

So you smash the guitar, try to calm down by reading a Spanish magazine, all the while
thinking about the unfinished papers lying on the brim of your desk.
So you continue smashing your brains, you proceed in wasting your time.
And you’re too tired to continue hating yourself, so you grab your pillow and try to drown out premonition, hope and aspiration.

04/21/2010