8. Then I Went For A Walk

I went to the outer limits of this city
City limits
And the lights were shining brightly all around
On the spot
Up in the sky was a dazzling black spot
Gleaming down
That sucked in and swallowed all of God’s creation
There I was

Where I went there was no window
For no one left it open to draw a breath

Where I go no one has ever gone before, yes
Please don’t
I hesitate to ask for directions since I
Don’t know
I don’t know the way back to this normal state
Of mind
Books and churches, telephone boxes and ring ring
Won’t make it

All right, went there, was no window
For no one left it open to draw a breath

Where I went there was no window
For no one left it open to draw a breath

7. What To Do?

There isn’t much to do
Not much that catches your
Imagination, anyway

Birds fly past, flees stick mast
Not only in and on your bed
But on your naked skin within

And you scratch, you let it itch
You ask of yourself this
One favour to silence you

Whereas many more tongues
Would gladly and relentless
Answer your call madly

But this one doesn’t, well yes
It doesn’t obey and it keeps
It keeps scratching at your nerves

And you hide away in
one well-shaped corner
of God’s new scheme

If you don’t come out within
three seconds - one sin - he will
smite thee, yes, he will

And then we’ll see what
The scratching actually brings
At night, listening to the rain outside drowning all your hopes

6. Feeling remorse

No, I don’t

No, I won’t

If you’re feeling remorseful you haven’t really lived
Life to the fullest
Life and the early death
Should remind you of all the twisted hours to come
And you’re trying to flee the idea,
Box on your back
Heavy to bear, hard to care

No, I won’t
No, I don’t

I don’t even try to compare them to my everything, there are
Four of them
One of them is mine
“Should I stay or should I go” and what about
the trace I’ll leave behind, the trace
that will catch up
with me one day

Eventually

Definitely

That's what they mean to me, that's not what I mean to them
I should have seen it
Should have felt it
But it is all so futile, such a waste of time
Money and thoughts, feelings
That are, were, drowned
in the sea

No, not for me

Not for me

5. Half done, half eaten, half left, half kicked away

Four and a half weeks
I’ve been counting,
Counting every single day

It wasn’t on Wednesday,
Wednesday is three days
Into the week, come the end

No, it is Thursday past 3,
Yes, Thursday past 3 o clock
In this house that dies at midnight

And I still gotta pay my 2-50
The rest of the hours have got to
Have got to pay off

Feel the weight of the world
On my back, in my knees
They are trembling, losing ground

Even the most outrageous dream,
the most outrageous wish
Even the most outrageous piece of
music couldn’t keep me from swimming
And soon about to sink in
Into the skin

Into the skin
Repeat after me:
Into the skin

4. The After Hours

And again
Again
Again
Again

Holding a paper-tissue
Holding it
Holding it
Holding it

The sound wouldn’t stop
Wouldn’t stop
Yes, it wouldn’t
Wouldn’t stop

The gate-crashers, the wind-smashers, the trait-union
The routes, alleys, paths and gravel-walks they encountered

And again
Again
Again
Again

Shaking your head
Your head
Your head
Mental head

The rhythm stopped, the clock wouldn’t clock
I don’t want to be the only one hearing the bat screech.

3. Early lunch, late breakfast

Grabbing some cakes, some fruity-fruity cakes,
No, no,
I didn’t bake them
I didn’t make them
They were given to me, somebody’s hands

And I was watching Marcia,
Heath and all the other fake-tanned boys and girls
On the radio,
Yes,
On the radio
And it couldn’t ease my mind,
No, it couldn’t ease my mind.

Snatching entropy away from Pedro, Max or Clumsy,
No, no,
I didn’t buy him
I didn’t try him
He was given to me, somebody’s hands

And that’s why I wouldn’t feed Chris,
Maura and Julia and all the other skinny toy-boys and girls
On the internet,
Yes,
On the internet
And it couldn’t ease my mind,
No, it couldn’t ease my mind.

All I thought about was picking up the fucking phone
Dialling the number that was stuck in my head
And couldn’t get out
because I wouldn’t let it out.

2. Realisation of latitude

It hit me the very next hour
After taking a shower
After looking after the after-hour cat
Yes, it was me, yes, I wasn’t free,
Free of the seconds, the moments,
The hours that were resting
On my shoulders

And I was left with the feeling
Of being million of miles away

I did my household chores,
Put my dirty laundry away,
Put it into the put-away not to break
Yes, I was ruthless, yes, I wasn’t thinking
Thinking of the seconds, the moments,
The hours that were wasted
By my own hands

And I was still feeling guilty
Losing mind over phone-calls

Soft, swift sounds of voices
From another time from the time
When from was only another word
Yes, I was being watched, yes, I wasn’t sure
Whether all the seconds, the moments,
The hours which were wasted and gone
Could someday crawl back

Into my life that was
Suddenly worth living