Hopelessly Flawed

The rages of our craziness will not fade
even if we tried to hide our anger,
A shot of our common lives in your bedroom
Or in your kitchen next to the sink

Where do we sigh when all hope has ended
To cling to our flesh and bones?
Wen do we succumb to our deadly wishes
To climb the hill just to trip over the tip?

These walls, they are not mine
They are too thin to protect my skin
From the lion crouching behind the sun where
warmth is handed out, but not with mine

And the numbing noise in your head
That has been your driving force
Won’t let your weary head rest
Not for a second, a minute I guess

I will never hold you back, I promised
A thousand years ago, that when seven
Times four are forgiven, no one will recall
what they didn’t ask for in the first place

Although there is a thank you somewhere
In the back of my head, seriously, you
Simply turn your neck to me to
Let me read your 'fuck you' off your skin.

May, 24th 2010

After

Do you enjoy the pain and the agony
that a simple moment of your life can create?
It happens when you’re not paying attention,
you focus on something completely different
And it drags you down, down,
and the path stops meandering in your footsteps

And if you did have a wish, only one wish
To succumb your bones to your flesh
To your senses, would you, moment,
Would you leave a message before surrendering?

What if you could reach into your innermost
Parts of your trembling heart, and just for a second
Make it stop shaking, make it feel okay again
Because you simply cannot forget the time
When all was new, all was real,
Still you are trapped in good old brave new world

Of your own memory, what were you
Most likely to erase from your harddisk
Your ideas that keep coming back
And your passion makes you so numbingly sick

The real hazard starts as soon as you let
The teeny-tiny ray of hope into your life
You try to focus on something completely different
But the sadness drags you down, down
Hardship can be endured in so many ways
But you don’t read the signs and bang into walls

What you are really looking forward to
Is to let yourself go and finally find that
Little spark, that flame that burns and will not
Let you break down while you are dying

Dying to hear what I have got to say about
All the tantrum, the mayhem my words create
But of course the noise will drown out all your fears
And will eventually let you fall into silence you deserve

March 14 2009

Untitled

This is an old one. But I remember thinking about Lord of the Rings when I wrote it back in 2008, November 1st that is...

Untitled

Oh, life.
It has a wonderful way of telling you there's still beauty.
It opens your eyes whenever you fear the dark creepin’ in.
It shows you all the possibilities you’re afraid of even considering.
It makes you stop dead for a second, makes you breathe in again.
It doesn’t always lead you along the right path, but
Then again,
roadsides are often misleading any ways.

It can hit you in a moment you thought was immune to sentiments,
A moment you were completely absorbed in your work,
your everyday chores, when you were following a train of thought.

So you stop dead again, if only for another second of your life.
You’re reminded that there is something out there that,
unexpectedly, lets you draw breath again, even though you surrendered.

This feeling might pass in no time at all,
but the memory lingers on
and lets you keep holding on.

They know when and where you broke down

They know when and where you broke down.
They don't need worry why.
They see you sitting on the threshold with your dog in your arms.
They don’t wonder why, they'd never offer you their hand to help you up.
They beat you down once again you’re regaining your strength.
They are dangerous.
They are not mice.
They are not mice in your food and store and storage.
They are them.
They are us.
They are us.
They are where?
They are there they are us.
And they were us back then.
They still won't help your arm up.
They are us.
And you are us too.

A Jack of all Trades, a Queen of none at all

As you’re wiping out these memories of all your failures, you remember one particular bit when you were stock-car racing at a thousand miles per hour, when you realise that all those years ago, you gave up the joy for life.
You sink back into depression, hope for a bit of sympathy, because you are a comedian while at the same time you know no amount of help or warmth will help you crawl out of that abyss.

You pick up a guitar, start jotting down ideas, when you remember performing on stage, but all your visions circle round your insecurities, all you remember is the moments on stage when you were startled, when your deficiencies showed.

So you smash the guitar, try to calm down by reading a Spanish magazine, all the while
thinking about the unfinished papers lying on the brim of your desk.
So you continue smashing your brains, you proceed in wasting your time.
And you’re too tired to continue hating yourself, so you grab your pillow and try to drown out premonition, hope and aspiration.

04/21/2010