TRAIN OF THOUGHTNESS

You don’t wake up from slumber,
that divine sleep
that keeps you alive and breathing,
kept you throughout many years.

Now that you do wake up
like Snow White without her apple,
Sleeping Beauty without her spinning wheel,
me without my town - you are startled.

It’s half past eleven,
you’ve wasted so much time
to even get going;
so much time to find a boost,
a coffee of its own kind
to kick-start the afternoon.

You feel your heart thumping,
your head spinning, those stars dancing,
and you take a step back,
get yourself into low gear,
never set your level too high,
and the minutes and years
pass, leave a shadow on your face,
a barrier to lower your ideals to;

and you go back to bed half a time later,
much more tired than ever before,
and your lids fold over your eyes,
that shade of green you’ve been
trying to hide for so long,
that bag under your eyes, under your bed to hide your secrets,
and you walk to the water to let
that valuable energy down the drain,

You toss that gold in exchange
for earthly possessions,
while you’re drugged to the bone,
cut-off from all sentiments;

All empathy gone with your youth,
all skin folding down your neck,
all creams in the world to protect you
as you le the water run through
your system, your personal desert.

You grab your seven belongings
and your fifteen thoughts,
slam the door in many faces,
leave your mascara and perfume behind
to stand your ground in yesterday’s clothes,
in last year’s shoes;

and in your imagination
this is a scenario you’ve feared to
become much more than a glimpse,
a flicker of the eye,
and as you are selling your soul,
betraying your morals.

All you can think of now is that
soft pillow, that mattress to hide your world in,
that stream of consciousness not
even a galleon of caffeine
could save from your morning breath.

And the boy next to you moans
and for a second,
you are back in reality,
down to earth,
while the next daydream will reveal
more of your unknown galaxy
than you’d like to get a glimpse of.

MJ 16th june 2010